I admit, when I'm alone riding a jeep, I tend to listen to other people's conversation. I know that it's not good to eavesdrop but I can't very well close my ears, the conversation is loud enough to be heard by other passengers as well.
2 girls talking. Both are tall and slim (niwang, payat).
girl 1: di ba nagmomodel ka?
girl 2: oo. (Explain, explain) pero nung pinasukat sa akin ang damit at nag-VTR, sabi nila mataba pa daw ako. (kaya daw indi siya nakuha)
girl 1: kung mataba ka, paano na ang iba?
---my thoughts: oo nga, kung mataba siya, paano na ako? super taba na ba ako? does that mean na kung gusto mong maging model, kelangan mong maging skin and bones na lang? I remember history books saying that during the Renaissance era, women who had the curves were the ones considered to be beautiful and were asked to model...oh well, that's the past... What is past is past.
A guy and a girl talking...
guy: first year ka pa lang? (girl answered yes) ano nga course mo?
girl: Comsci
guy: Ah, comsci. Di ba sa engg yun? Maraming math? Magshift ka na lang.
girl: oo...magshishift na talaga ako.
---my thoughts: Mashift ka? don't you know that you are lucky to be in UP as a Comsci student? Marami ang natalo mo sa slot sa Comsci. At indi mo kaya? Ako, fifth year na ako na Comsci. At kinaya ko. Kinakaya ko. But then again, if you think na indi mo talaga kaya, better shift now than later. Baka magsisi ka pa na (or nagsisi ka na nga ba?) na nagComsci ka.
I admit that Computer Science is not my choice course. Pero naghirap ako sa Comsci at hanggang ngayon ay pinaghihirapan ko pa rin... pero I'm proud to say that I'm a computer science student of UP. I didn't like to be in comsci...but I learned to like it. I'm not a programmer, my friends and groupmates can attest to that, and I guess I'll never be good at programming. But as it gets nearer to graduation, and I can really see myself graduating, I learn to like it more and more. Being in comsci taught me to think logically and analytically. To think from top to bottom. Divide and conquer. (just like writing algorithms.. =)) But I do sometimes wonder if I'm thinking logically. Anyway, that's another story. Maybe God meant for me to take up comsci. I don't know His reason, but I believe, He will tell me, in the future.
When I was in 1st year college, my blockmates and I took a career test. I was told that I should be an accountant, a music teacher or performer, an agriculturist or farmer, or have a clerical job. I could have shifted then, the guidance couselor asked me when I would like to shift. But I didn't. I stayed in Comsci. Endured the hardships - late nights, overnights working on an MP, studying subjects that is not really related to computer science but we take it because it's required, failing subjects and taking them again, and on 1 particular subject, and again. I felt what I haven't felt in highschool. That is, to be disappointed in myself for failing the subject and failing the expectations of my family, for having no one else to blame but myself, for not studying, not giving more time to study, not being able to manage my time well, et cetera, et cetera. I learned my lessons and I wouldn't exchange them for any other experiences. A cliche, yes, but the truth. I had asked myself the what-ifs of my life. Like, what if I didn't study in UP, what if I didn't take up Comsci, what if I took European Languages, and others. Maybe they are my regrets... but they will forever stay as what-ifs. I can not turn back the time nor do I want to turn back the time. I will not allow myself to dwell in the past, because I really do not dwell in the past. Gets? =) I live for the present. We will realize that what matters is not the past but the present...
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