Would be choice number 1. I would throw caution to the winds and leave everything behind and go with Mama to the States. I would display that come-what-may / bahala na attitude. If I have only myself to think of, I'd do that even if I don't have any money with me.
As my current favorite song ( I Don't Wanna Be by Gavin Degraw) goes, "All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind.."
But I can't do that. I can't just think for myself and decide for myself only. I also have to think of the repercussions my actions will have on to my family. I can't depend on them forever, financially speaking. We were brought up to strive hard and earn our own money. So that is why I have to make my own money, save some, and when I have enough, only then can I make risky decisions for myself.
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The powers that be in my life, my mom and my brother, have different opinions. My mom wants me to go with her. My brother wants me to stay here and if ever, just look for other work. I understand both their opinions. But in the end, it will still be my decision that will matter. Scary, yes. And I am scared.
One other thing that I have been praying for, if God wants me to go to the States or if he wants me to go home to Bacolod, is that He will give me a job once I get back here in Manila and look for one. A job that will be fulfilling in every sense of the word.
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I still haven't decided on what to choose; that is, a decision that will make everybody happy.
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