WARNING: Long post....
I don't remember if I have written here that I had joined a bible study group (Dgroup) last February. We meet during Thursdays in CCF. It is the first time that I really have committed myself in joining a group. . I felt that I was again joining the Christian race. My spiritual hunger is filled with spiritual food. The group even went to the Hillsong United concert in Araneta Coliseum - a night filled with praise and worship.
Anyway, I got very much disappointed when my boss said that we can't have Thursdays off. To top it off, I'm stuck in the mid shift for 2 months - June and July. This meant that I couldn't attend the bible study. ( I'm excited to join them again on August - 2 more weeks of July to go! ) I struggled with God as I was really asking and praying for me to get the day shift. But alas, He didn't want to give me the day shift.
I realized that He had plans for me by taking away my 2 months away from the Dgroup and I am realizing that this plan of His fits like a T with His other plans for me. Does that make sense? Anyway, I think God wants me to learn how to handle a team; an experience that I need for the next step for my career. When or where that next step will be, He only knows. My boss left me in charge of the team for 3 weeks while he is away on vacation. Mind you, right now, I don't want this pressure of making decisions for the team. And at the back of my mind, I always question myself if I had made the right decision. I am actually learning and I love learning how to handle the team and how to handle decision making, but then as I said, I don't like the pressure and all that. (I'm being redundant here....) I can't wait for my boss to come back to work and take all this pressure off from me.
When I am curious with one thing, I would want to learn everything about it. My question to myself is, when am I going to get curious of other IT related topics so that I could pass the certification exams? I never, in my wildest college dreams, imagined that I would love being in IT and accepting the fact that taking up Computer Science in college wasn't all that bad. I guess I just wasn't that curious enough at that time to want to learn all my ComSci subjects. Last month I was thinking of taking up masters in Information Technology! And I'm serious actually. I just need to find time and save enough money to send myself to grad school.
I was also thinking of working abroad. I remember being so idealistic when I was in college. I said to myself that I won't work abroad, but then when I started working and reality settled in, I also started liking the idea of working abroad. Some of my highschool friends now work abroad.
So I did the first step, uploaded my resume in several job sites. And now I dread every email I get asking if I would want to apply in their company. Why do I dread it? I actually dread the interview process and I think I am not yet ready to work abroad. When will I be ready? God only knows; I will be ready when He push me to the right job and right country. For now, my current work is the "it".
I was right to assume that Nang Beth and I have the same personality/views on boys, dating, relationship and other synonymous words. If you know me, you know what I mean and how I am. Nang Beth and I talked while she was here for a visit, and I must admit, I had fun that day: talking and shopping with her. Her mask or her wall of China, as her friends call it, is slowly crumbling down. I think it's about time mine crumbles down, too. Don't you think? Now, I just have to wait for my GB to start hammering into my mask/wall. Where are you, my GB?
Speaking of GB, that is God's best, I feel that he is near. Hehehe.. I'm just assuming that he is near.. because all my devotions for the past few months have been about waiting patiently and having faith in God in keeping His promises. As if God is telling me that if I wait patiently enough, He will lead me to him or him to me - soon. God knows that I am impatient and He keeps on reminding me of being patient. Not that I would want to jump into a relationship with the first guy that comes around... anyway.. he still needs to hammer into my mask; I admit that it is hard for me to freely take it off.
~ o ~ o ~
I miss Leila and Isaiah. I want to see them again. Wishing and wishing and praying...
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